Compartmentalisation... Friend or Foe?

At the end of a coaching conversation last week I asked my client:

💡"What have you learnt about yourself during this conversation that you can apply outside of today’s coaching issue?"

He said that he realised he had been compartmentalising this particular issue for a while by telling himself it wasn't really that important because he didn't have time or energy to deal with it. But, what he realised through our conversation was that the very act of compartmentalising was taking his energy causing him to feel less productive and more anxious. 

Obviously in the short term it can be useful to compartmentalise things to manage overwhelm so you can focus on one thing at a time. However, compartmentalising issues and emotions for a long period of time is like having multiple apps running in the background of your mind's operating system. 💻They gradually drain your resources, taking up energy and space, slowing you down and making you inefficient. 🐌

This can so easily become an unhealthy habit if you constantly avoid important issues or suppress your emotions which can impact things like your long-term mental health, relationships and effectiveness at work.

My client realised he has a particular tendency to compartmentalise tricky interpersonal issues because he prefers to avoid external conflict with people. But the result is that he ends up having an ongoing internal conflict within himself; part of him feels troubled by an issue and part of him berates himself for “allowing it to get to him”. This is classic “parts work” that I learnt about during my therapy training and you can also work with in coaching - something I’ll write about another day.

My client has his own next steps in terms of tackling this pattern but what about you?

💡What have you been compartmentalising for a bit too long recently?

💡How could you take a step towards resolving it?

💡What are your general patterns of unhealthy compartmentalising?

💡Who could help you explore these and find different ways to tackle them?

Thank you to Clare Norman MCC on her Mentor Coaching Lock-in for reminding me about the power of using "facilitating growth" questions to end a coaching conversation 👏 I have been guilty of not always creating time for this crucial part of the coaching conversation but I see how powerful it is when I do. Plus, I often get a useful insight for myself too! 

Photo by Joanne Rohrs Patterson on Unsplash