๐๐ก๐จ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐จ๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐จ๐ซ?
- Jen Wrigley
- Jun 26
- 2 min read
Last week was my daughterโs very first school sports day. We were told there would be a Parentsโ race and that we should all run in it to set a good example to the kids. My immediate internal reaction was,
โ๐๐ฉ ๐ช๐ตโ๐ด ๐ข 50๐ฎ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต, ๐โ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ฑ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ฐ ๐ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ. ๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐บโ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐จ๐จ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ถ๐ญ๐ต๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆโ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฅ.โ
Except, I realised, there was ๐๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ to perform well in the sprint either! Somehow I had created that pressure all on my own and was allowing myself to be limited by my own beliefsโฆ
On the other hand, my daughter was simply excited about doing all of the races and hadnโt given any thought to which sheโd be good at or not. ๐
No parent wants to pass on their hang-ups to their kids (!), so I decided to absolutely ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ง ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ in that race with a ๐๐ข๐ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ on my face to inspire her to do the same. As you can see from the photo I did run with a smile and did not win the trophy. ๐
๐๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐ฆ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ?
Because as a leader in an organisation you are ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ what you think is acceptable for the workplace. You are sending subtle messages about the unspoken rules, whatโs OK and what's not. For example:
โข How you react when someone makes a mistake
โข How contactable you are on your holidays or not
โข How you deal with underperformers
โข How you react to receiving constructive feedback yourselfโฆ
๐๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฌ
Our brains are wired to keep us safe so will notice the tiniest of details and then jump to conclusions about what that might mean.
For example, a facilitator friend once noticed me screwing up a flipchart and starting to write it again because Iโd spelt a word wrong and said,
โ๐๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ด๐ถ๐ฃ๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ช๐ฑ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ง๐ฆ๐ค๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ง๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ด๐ฑ๐ช๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ธ๐ฆโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต. ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆโ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ต, ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ค๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ง๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ญ๐บ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ!โ ๐
Whether you like it or not, you are always communicating something.ย
So take a moment to ๐ข๐๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ to those around you and then notice if thatโs what your behaviour shows or not.
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